How to Eat Watermelon with a Fork
How to Eat Watermelon with a Fork
Go to the buffet bar, serve yourself some watermelon, and return to your table. With good fortune your watermelon will be cut into pieces already. Your luck is poor if they are in slices, or -- Heaven help you -- wedges. Take the fork. Choose a piece of watermelon. Don't stab it -- you'll just have to somehow get it off the fork by trying to pry it off by pulling the fork over the edge of the plate, an almost impossible task. Shaking the fork doesn't work. You need to get all of those seeds out before you may eat your watermelon gracefully -- which I'm sure was the point of this whole exercise.
Look at the piece of watermelon. Most likely, there will be several seeds protruding out of the edge. What are the odds of that happening?? I guess they must be pretty good. Take your fork, and with the outermost lower tine carefully pry the seed out. Some may fall straight away. So much the better. With others you may find that instead of being able to pry it out, the piece slips away in the juice. Resist the temptation to take your other hand off of your lap and hold the piece down with your forefinger. That wouldn't be polite, now would it? With daily practice you'll improve.
Look carefully at the piece. You will probably seed dark shapes inside. These are also watermelon seeds. Now is the time for radical action. Take the fork and, with the edge of the lowest tine, cut the piece, just as you would with a knife. Try to get close to the dark shapes. With luck you will find you are in the same situation, and can pry the seeds out with that technique that you've practiced so much! It paid off in the end, see?
You may find that after ten minutes of sliding watermelon pieces around you have reduced only a single piece of watermelon into watermelon mush and watermelon juice, and your face seems to be getting very hot.
Stuff the rest of the watermelon as quickly as you like into your mouth and spit out the seeds wherever you bloody well want. Extra points for restaurant customers.
How to Eat Watermelon with a Fork
